5 years of study at NUS Architecture, fully paid, with a guaranteed career.

It came so unexpectedly, the call, informing me that I was short-listed for the second interview. It was not easy, out of the eight applicants, only two would attend this, with the CEO and the board of directors at that firm.

"Yes yes, i will most definitely be there" I was really too happy, maybe it was just some much needed assurance of my own abilities. It was a time, and still is, that I am rather lost, missing on self-esteem.

Then she called, she didn't have to do so, but she did, I didn't know why. She asked me if this is the scholarship that I wanted, if I was sure about it, almost as if she knew that I had that something else in mind. Yes, the other interview, not worth as much monetarily, but so much more.

I poured it out to her, and she she gave me the answer without saying anything at all.

I called the deputy director if my school, she told me its really up to me, which was a clear enough answer and direction.

I called Mr Q, the man who interviewed me on the first round of interviews, the one who recommended me to the deciding session. His secretary picked up, she asked me who am I and what business did I have with the busy man, I finally got my way to him over the phone, "Sir, are you in office now? I happen to be around the area, may I visit you for a chat?

"Sure" without any further questions asked.

I went up to the office, he was on the 15th floor. The multi-disciplinary corporation took the top half of the 18 storey office tower. I rang him, and he was out. He passed me a magazine, Singapore Architect issue 256. It was as if he knew what I was there for, and prepared this momento for me.

We spoke, of life and opportunities, of missed ones and of scored ones. It was too light, there was no anticipation of the impending interview which would decide if i would join their firm. We both knew that it would not be. The other gentleman would get the scholarship, because I knew what I wanted.

Even though it is not even guaranteed, a risk that I'm taking, a risk that I can afford, a risk that I need to take. Because, I knew the answer a long time ago. Because maybe, just maybe...